BARBARA BROWER - Chicago, Illinois

I am grateful and excited that I've been given this opportunity to raise awareness to the world about child abuse, teen dating abuse and domestic violence and believe that lives will be changed for the better as a result. As a child, I was severely abused by my mother, which paved the way of a "being the victim" lifestyle for me. When I entered my teen years, I always chose the guys who were jealous, abusive and wanted to use me as a punching bag. When I went into my 20's, I married a guy who treated me like his father treated his mother and he beat me on a regular basis. I left him after a year of marriage on my birthday - which was the best present I ever gave myself - but it wasn't over. I didn't know what it was like to have a man love me unconditionally....I thought I was dumb, stupid, ugly and would never amount to anything because that's what my mother told me throughout my childhood and teen years. I chose one abusive man after the next - because I didn't know what unconditional love was and I didn't believe I deserved any better. Married 3 times - all to men who (you guessed it) were abusive, I felt I was doomed to a life of misery because I didn't have the knowledge or mental tools to break that pattern.....I didn't know there was a choice. It was a vicious cycle fueled by my insecurity and zero self-esteem of one tragic situation after the next, being raped 3 times and almost killed by one of the guys I was married to.

In the summer of 1986, I guess I had enough and decided I would do whatever it took to change my life around. It had already affected my children and I didn't want to live like that for the rest of my life. I know what it is like to be in the depths of horrid abuse and I know what it is like to come out of it. It is a matter of attitude and making the right choices. The 2 DVD set, DREAM FOR THE STARS - From Victim To Victor, will be a tremendous tool of deliverance and prevention for all who view it. This bicycle ride we will make from Chicago to New York will not only promote this 2 DVD set, but will be our way of shouting to the world that abuse is no longer a closet enemy. We want the victims to know they are not alone and they do not have to accept this as a way of life any longer. To the abusers, we say there is help for you so that your soul can finally find rest in the good things of life instead of the control of a helpless victim. We want everybody to know that even though you might have had a bad beginning, you don't have to have a bad finish and no matter how horrible your childhood was, you can turn it around and have a better future. We are going to film the entire bicycle ride and have it edited into another documentary.

We are here for you.

Love, Barbara


A Bit About Me.......September 16, 2008

I think some people are just born with a sensitive heart. Ever since I was a child, I always had a natural love for people and animals. I never made fun of other kids and it hurt my feelings to hear kids say bad things about other children in the neighborhood or at school. I also had a great love for animals. Almost all of the pictures taken of me when I was a child, there was a cat hanging over my arm or a dog nearby. I had parakeets and 2 squirrel monkeys and the kind of monkey that organ grinders used to have that held a tin cup to collect change from passerbys. My mother screamed one day when I walked in the house with the cutest mole cupped in my hands. I found him in the front yard and thought he had a cute face and little hands like I'd never seen on any other creature. She made my father take me in the car with that little mole so we could let him go in the forest a few miles away. I wanted to keep him, but - Mom said he might bite me or something. I thought he was too cute to bite, but she still wouldn't let me keep him. I had hamsters, mice, gerbils, rats, squirrels, flying squirrels, raccoons, ferrets, possums, a deer, little brown bats and took in every stray I found. I guess I easily identified myself with Ellie Mae Clampet with my endless love for critters and me being so trusting and naive.

Sad movies used to make me cry and if I saw somebody else crying, my eyes would swell with tears. Not that I had emotional diarrhea or anything like that, but if I watched even a game show where someone won the big prize, I would shed tears of joy. Goodbyes were horrible for me....nobody ever got away without me crying like I would never see them again. Geeeeeze.....I used to think that having a sensitive heart was a curse because it seemed like everything was an occasion for tears. I was always too trusting of everybody and just about believed everything that was told to me. Blind trust - not a good thing to have in combination with a sensitive heart. As I got older, I learned it was a wise thing to not jump head first into every situation; but, that lesson came at a great price. I'm thankful those lessons didn't teach me to become bitter or angry at the world. I still have a sensitive heart, still love people and animals and still take in all the strays.

When I lived in Florida, I volunteered my time to B.E.A.K.S. (Bird Emergency Aid Kare Sanctuary), which was founded by Cindy Mosling. She taught me how to take care of baby birds and we became very close friends. Through the years, I learned how to rehabilitate birds who had just been born or shot with a BB gun and helped take care of wildlife that was covered with oil from a spill. People used to call me Snow White, because when I lived in the country, I raised wild birds and animals and released them where I lived. Because the animals knew me from babies, they weren't afraid of me - I guess because when they saw me, they knew I would give them food. When I walked out in the yard, birds would fly out of the trees on my shoulder and squirrels would come up and take things out of my hand. I miss being in the country just for that reason. I have many stories of experiences with animals in Florida while working with Cindy. She's still a part of my heart, along with her husband, Andy. They live in Florida and are still taking care of birds on Big Talbot Island.

Now I'm here in Chicago...I'm excited to be able to do this project to help people see they can have their dreams if they only believe and go for them. Plus....well, I guess I'll never be without animals somewhere around me, and if you'd like to see them, check out the slideshow above!